Meet The Spammers

Ellen / January 23, 2015

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Since moving to WordPress I’ve become accustomed to finding a small (I use this term very loosely) gathering of comments in my spam folder. They visit so frequently I feel like I know them and have found many different spammer cliques. Here’s just a few…

The lost:

This group is for the spammers who might have gotten away with it had they just chosen a different, more appropriate themed post.

  • ”Do you have kidney disease? Well I have magic beans for that!” might have been ok on a past post where I mentioned having one kidney. It would not be ok on my post ‘2014 should have been..‘ about Aidan and postponing college.
  • Calling a ‘photo post’ ”insprational writing”. Again, might have slipped through the radar had it been on a post where I actually had some words. Instead spammie posted to a Silent Sunday where the aim is to include zero words, inspirational or otherwise.
  • Similarly, saying ”great photography” on one of the very few posts where no I have no pictures included. Now you’re just being lazy, spammie!

The Obvious:

They aren’t hiding behind a realistic username. They aren’t lurking in the spamming shadows. They are in full show, shouting what they’re really about. They are ‘xxxporn’ ‘enter to win $10’ and links to youtube,amazon or Facebook.

  • ”You simply won a new reader” – xxxporn
    Ehh you’re ok thanks!
  • ”Admiring the hard work you put in” – youtube.com/iamaspammer
    Thanks Youtube you’re not doing too badly yourself.

The Misunderstood:

This group is for the spammers who aren’t really sure what they are about. That haven’t yet found themselves and seek my help in doing so.

  • ”Interested in guest blogging, we share similar interests and could greatly benefit each other”
    What a great idea, Nike air max sales page.
  • On my baby must haves – ”please also seek help from my site”
    Oh what a kind offer ‘adult cams.com’ I’ll be right over.

The Sneaky Ones:

These ones are the smartest of the lot. They have it all planned to tactical perfection. They pose as a fellow blogger who also is also suffering the constant badgering of spam comments. They offer kindness, sympathy and of course the genius solution!!

  • ”Do you have a spam problem on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I have magic beans for that.”
    Check your inbox, whalemail.com!

The multi-linguals:

The ones who come alone with what can only be described as a keyboard fit, which looks something like ”qznu ranasqezole .5 mg [url] 22lsk puthgibl”
Oh yeah someone else just said that to me too *awkward face*

 

Have any of you met my spammie friends? They can be a little annoying but they’re like family, you have to love them… a little bit. Now off I go and permanently delete them all. Thanks to the wonderful work of Askimet plugin spammers are banished 99% of the time (taking a few genuine bloggers with them too – oops!).

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The List

Binky Linky

37 thoughts on “Meet The Spammers

  1. I am astounded at the amount of spam comments I get on my blog – last week it was literally over 1000. Bonkers and thank God for Askimet. There are a few that nearly get you sometimes though aren’t there? 🙂

  2. Oh I hate spammers! Since google added that I am not a robot thing though mine has gone from 1.5k a day to about 50, it is amazing. I get loads of Nike, Luis Vuitton etc. Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

  3. I don’t really get much spam on my blog – I actually had a look earlier and there were like 20 fro 6 months blogging which I thought was odd (but good)! Do you have Askimet installed on WP – that seems to have protected me pretty well. P.S. don’t be sending your spammy mates my way 🙂

    1. Dear Sir,
      I am a high profile lawyer who represents *your ancestor here*. Since the passing of *your ancestor here* you are the only family member I can find, meaning you are in receipt of his/her estate worth 3.4billion *appropriate currency here*.
      If you could just send me on a small fee of $5,000 I can release these funds to you.
      Wishing you a happy fortune.
      Kinds regards,
      Mr Spammie

  4. Yup I do have a lot of those too. They get deleted after a while but because I like saying spam 0 I always delete them permaneu straight away. Some have very weird phrasing.

  5. I have had a few of these. The sneaky ones in particular. I use to find it really frustrating but since then have seen so much of it that I just brush it off now. Although I never had it in the same amount of numbers as you display. :-/

  6. I find some of the spam comments I get quite funny and very similar to the ones you’re getting too! Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky

  7. Spam!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrr!!!! I can’t load Askimet so I’m screwed. I get so much spam I feel like crying! In my next life I am coming back as an IT nerd. Fact! Thanks for the post and linking with #sundaystars – brilliant! Jess x

  8. I love my spammers that tell me about my “inspirational writing” and how they have spent “hours reading my website” – I know they are spammers but it is nice to pretend that these comments are real…..

  9. Come on now, you’re not selling WP to me any more ha ha! I haven’t had any spammers on Blogger but then, the comment box is fairly unappealing all round on Blogger – probably too boring for spammers to bother with. Mim 🙂 #SundayStars

    1. Ironically this ended up in my spam folder – I cannot stop laughing! I never had spam with blogger either so it was all new to me but Askimet plug in sends it all straight to a spam folder where it awaits it’s fate 🙂 x

  10. Ha love this post! So funny. These spammers really do think they can get away with anything! All hail Askimet for protecting us from these ridiculously annoying spammers! x #sundaystars

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