Here are 10 tips to help you to prepare for your new baby. Before Aidan was born I read lots of books and articles on how to prepare for your new baby, although helpful, if I had these tips I may have been a lot more prepared.
Blindfold yourself and make a cup of tea/coffee. Night feeds at 3am get harder the longer they go on. There is a required skill of nighttime nappy changes and making bottles in utter darkness you will achieve. If you can make tea while blindfolded you will be a night feeding ninja!
Surround yourself with colourful, noisy plastic toys. Once the first birthday or Christmas rolls around your house will become like a medium-sized toy shop abundant with musical, flashy toys. After 4-5 days you will know all the songs by heart. Find and note the off switch immediately, this information will be of great benefit to you.
Spend an entire day using only one hand (your ‘bad’ hand). Some days no other place will suit your new babe other than your arms. Within days you will master the art of living one-handed, you will be flipping pancakes while baking a victoria sponge with just your ‘bad’ hand.
Restrict yourself to sleeping in a space the size of your foot (with an angry stray cat if possible). If you end up co-sleeping, or just taking your baby in occasionally, they will take up 90% of the bed. They also have the sharpest nails in the world which are magnetically attracted to your face.
Get the laundry from all your neighbours/family and wash it – daily. I can’t even tell you where it all comes from because it still baffles me each day but babies manage to soil their entire wardrobe weekly, at least.
Only eat half of everything you prepare. You know how everyone else’s food always looks nicer? Well to babies this is ten fold, and to avoid the breakdown you will share, even your favourite dessert.
Shower for 30-45 seconds. Anything above this will be a bonus. You will also constantly ‘hear’ your sleeping baby cry while you’re in there which is apparently known as shower schizophrenia.
Hourly, splash liquids of varying colours randomly on your clothing. Again, I’m still not totally sure where they all originate from but they will vary in size and colour.
Allow yourself no more than 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Unfortunately, sleeping through the night doesn’t mean uninterruptedly.
Have Disney Junior on the TV in the background all day. These characters will be your best friends for the next few years, get to know them now.
All that being said they are worth it all. I am now a one-armed, squeaky floorboard avoiding ninja who has swapped crazy nights out for cosy nights in, and I wouldn’t change it for all the hot tea in china.