6 things you should never say to a new mom

Just found this post I wrote back when Aidan was 16 weeks old. I don’t even remember writing it so I guess I was sleep deprived even though he was sleeping through! Anyway apparently I never published it but it is still totally relevant almost 30 weeks later.

Here are a list of things I guarantee 99% of new moms hear at least 10 times after having a baby. The only ok thing to say to a new Mom is do you want me to make you food or do your dishes? That will be well received, these will not.


1. Any comparisons to your/ other babies is totally unneccisary.

”When my baby was his age he was already crawling/ talking/ graduating.” New moms worry enough that their baby is progressing as he/ she should without these people recollecting their child prodigy.

2. ”How is he for you?”

Oh hes a terror, screams the house down constantly and I havent slept in 16 weeks.(Could you imagine the face if you actually said that?) Luckily for me A is great and doesn’t do any of these things (most of the time) but I imagine if he did and some one asked ”is he sleeping through the night yet?” I would either punch them or cry.

3. ”He needs a blanket, Take his socks off, Dont swing him by the ankles”

Obviously I dont swing A by the ankles but seriously opinions to yourselves people. Most moms know what’s best for their own child. I remember watching something on the TV a few years ago where a little boy had a skin condition where if he sweat he would lose his skin (I think? It was a long time ago but something happened when he sweat). This meant that even in the Autumn months his Mom would have him in just a T-shirt which of course invited many stares and voiced opinions from onlookers who just saw ‘bad parenting’. Makes you think huh? Perhaps they’re actually doing whats best already.

4. You look tired.

Gee thanks! Of course I’m tired I have this tiny human who takes up all of my time now. I also managed to order one who snores quite loudly and grunts in his sleep so when I do get to bed he wakes me up a couple of times a night ‘honking’.

5. Wait until…

Oh wait until hes climbing on everything.. Wait until hes pulling your clothes out of the wardobe.. Wait until hes bare knuckle boxing a tiger.
Seriously? When you’re pregnant they tell you the first few weeks are the hardest.. you get over those only to be slaped in the face with the fact that it actually gets WORSE! I only get to brush my hair every second day, all my clothes are stained, my house looks like the field after electric picnic and you’re saying I havent hit rock bottom yet? Delightful.

6. The above is then followed by So, whens the next one?

Ok so You’ve basically told me that my child has the brain of a potato compared to your genius, questioned my motherly instinct, insulted my appearance, shattered my dream of normality returning anywhere in the near future and you want to know when I am subjecting myself to this again?
30 weeks on and these are still being asked – worse still by other mothers! Do they not know Mom code?! 


The List

50 thoughts on “6 things you should never say to a new mom

  1. Oh people love to voice their opinions when it comes to babies don’t they?! I have only just stopped letting the comments get to me to be honest and my son is two and a half now! #twinklytuesdays

  2. This made me laugh out loud! So true, I can remember all of these with my children. I even had one old lady comment to me
    “What gorgeous little boys…they don’t look anything alike…they obviously have different Dad’s don’t they?”
    They don’t (although at times I have wished they both did!), but even if they didn’t it seriously was none of her business, and I found it so rude I just smiled dumbly back at her in shock! I was 23 then though, if we have another one beware old biddies I’m a lot more confident in my 30’s and will have a comeback!
    Stevie x

  3. This is so relatable! I’ve had people ask me/tell me all of these with my little girl. Favourite one is people asking ‘Is she good?’. How are you supposed to answer that about a six week old? ‘No, they’re terrible, they’ve already robbed three banks’?

    Great blog post!


  4. #5 is my favorite! I am on baby #2. Everyone kept saying “wait until you have two” now the challenge has been set to “wait until you have three”… YO

    When will it end??

  5. Oh these are all so true and still happen now Zach is a toddler! Especially the when are you having another. I hate that question, for us it’s when we can afford it. For others it could be they are struggling to conceive, have had a recent miscarriage or quite simply they don’t want another! Such an intrusive question! Thanks so much for linking up to #twinklytuesday

  6. So true. The “wait until…” one particularly annoys me – it made all the little milestones seem so negative. I also dislike the “oh you’ve got your hands full” now that I have two children – my usual response is “yes, full of blessings.” I suspect I have been guilty of saying a couple on your list though even since being a mummy – sometimes my tired brain really doesn’t process thoughts enough before they leave my mouth!

  7. I love this and so true. As mothers are selves not wanting to hear this I don’t know why we say it. But I do think it’s just society on autopilot. I have caught myself saying when is the next one? Just because I didn’t know what else to say an awkward silence that isn’t normal for me. Then I thought I hate when people say that to me why do I do it? It just came out. hahah I am guilty apologies. I do try my best. lol Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

  8. It’s just drilled into people Isn’t it. I genuinely think it is because they don’t know what else to say! I like silence personally, though it is a rare treat. ‘Just you wait… another 30 weeks and still nothing will change!’ He he!

  9. The Mother says – I used to hate the last question. I had already made the decision we were only having one child and nobody quite understood/accepted/believed that. Wven now, 6 years later, I still get asked……………. Great post :0 #sharewithme

  10. Brilliant post. I hate it when the baby is a bit grizzly and complete strangers say “he’s hungry”. They must know him better then me, I mean I’m only his mother! #thelist

  11. Ha ha! I’m usually pretty zen about unsolicited advice, I try and take the stance that I’m lucky they care about me and my baby, but one morning a stranger tried to tell me my son was too hot; the sun had suddenly popped out and I was about to take off his blanket. I must have given her my demon stare because she literally recoiled!

  12. All so true! But as terrible it is to say I’m pretty sure I’ve gone on to say it someone else even after being furious with someone for saying it to me. I don’t actually think I;ve ever been told I look tired though…! thanks so much for linking up and hope to see you again tomorrow. Sorry I;m late this week its been crazy busy!! #MummyMonday xx

  13. People say too many unwelcome things to new mums!! On top of wrangling with all those hormones, you’re also supposed to wrangle with people’s thoughtless but somehow well meaning input. Wouldn’t it be great if we had a mute remote control for those times? #twinklytuesday

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